Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
