Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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