ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
