One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i think i have two assholes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
