You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
