I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
