He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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