Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
your like the ambassador to my penis.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
