I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The uberlube is also flammable
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize