If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Welp...herpes.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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