it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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