Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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