I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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