I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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