that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
