bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
