and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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