i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
