38 yer olds are good kisserssss
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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