Tell her she can't have a vagina
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize