Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
