Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize