I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
