did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
