she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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