I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
