I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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