And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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