i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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