I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
