I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
