whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
