Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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