Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
