Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
