its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
