Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You're like the curious george of whores
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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