He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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