Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
