Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
