how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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