what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
