Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
