Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
