I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
