She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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