I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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