I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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