Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
