I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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