We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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