North Korea, Best Korea!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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