Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
