allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
