but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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