Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
